First things first. The beach was mucho amounts of fun regardless of conjunctivitis and my hatred of sand. I got to work on my tan, which is always excellent [mind you, I did have a couple of lobster impersonation days before the tan arrived]. There was plenty of junk food to be had, most notably Fractured Prune donuts. The boys had a stellar time in our sweet action digs, which was nice and cozy for the five of us.
Reason #545987 I'm going to be a horrible mother: I took all of four pictures. All of which were of me modeling the sunburn on my face. People will not believe I have children due to the lack of pictures of my future mommying blog.
So, that was the beach. Regardless of what those snobby West Coasters think, the Atlantic ocean is wonderful, thank you very much. They can keep their fishy Pacific [who wants to share an ocean with Asia, anyway?].
I'd now like to move on the "Observations I've Made In The Past Couple Of Days" segment of our program!
The term "African math" may sound a tad racist, but do give me an opportunity to explain. Last night, my mother and I felt the need to fill ourselves with some Papacy Affirmative--more commonly known as "Pope Yes". Ok, I'd better just explain this. When I was a smallish child, I always thought the sign said "Pope Yes" rather than "Popeye's". In fact, I couldn't figure out how people even got one word out of that.
Hence, Papacy Affirmative. Yes, I'm very clever.
Anyway, so we were in the mood for some fried chicken. We went to the drive-thru [haha, thru], placed our order with a very timid sounding voice coming from the inside of the store, and proceeded to the window. Upon receiving our box of chicken, I thought it felt a little hefty, so I opened the lid to see how much poultry we were talking about. I kid you not, there were at least 9,000 pieces of chicken in this box. That, on top of the fact that our bill was like $6 over what it should have been, led my mother to ask what had happened during the transaction.
Apparently, the timid voice thought we had asked for 16 pieces, bringing the total to $21.something when really we'd only wanted 15 pieces for $13.99 [don't hate, we love our late night chicken!]. In order to issue the refund, the timid voice needed to subtract $14.something from $21.something.
If you're wondering how African math comes into this, let me explain. The timid voice came from a very kindly African gentleman who was clearly struggling slightly with not only the language, but the currency of the United States.
Timid Voice: "So, your refund comes to...$3.27."
Mom: "Um, no, that's not right. It should be $6.36."
Timid Voice: "Oh, ok...give me just a second."
::A second::
Timid Voice: "So, your refund will be $6.56."
Mom: "No, it should only be $6.36."
She then proceeded to show him the math. Believe me, I'm not mocking the man, I just thought it was a fascinating way to spend 15 minutes at a drive-thru window at midnight on a Tuesday night. I'm so glad I grew up in the US so that I don't have to figure out weirdness like our language and money.
Alright, let's jump ahead to around one this afternoon. My sister needed to go to K-mart to pick up a couple of things, so my mom and I volunteered to watch the kids while she shopped. Upon entering the store, the kids immediately spotted these contraptions:
If you've been to the local K-mart recently, I'm sure you'll know all about the TV-Karts. This device has a control panel back where Mom has control to turn tv shows on for her children in the car below. While this burdens my soul to think that children can't go one shopping trip without television, I suppose it makes sense--
EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT THESE THINGS ARE SIZE OF A STATION WAGON. Could the manufacturer have invented a more unwieldy clunky device? Probably not. Let me tell you, pushing one of these bad boys around the K was maybe one of the most awkward experiences of my life. I may have crushed a child or two without even realizing it, such was the girth of this monster.
However, the consolation prize for heaving Titanic on Wheels around was my discovery of:
EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT THESE THINGS ARE SIZE OF A STATION WAGON. Could the manufacturer have invented a more unwieldy clunky device? Probably not. Let me tell you, pushing one of these bad boys around the K was maybe one of the most awkward experiences of my life. I may have crushed a child or two without even realizing it, such was the girth of this monster.
However, the consolation prize for heaving Titanic on Wheels around was my discovery of:
YES, Ladies and Gentlemen, that's right! The Lettuce Knife! Just when you thought one knife shouldn't be hampered with more than one task, lo and behold! A knife is invented for the express purpose of cutting lettuce! It's a fine day in age for lettuce lovers, folks!
And, on that note, I really should depart. I've officially landed temporary work for the rest of the summer after my disastrous accidental resignation from F.Y.E., so be happy for me!
Happy Wednesday!
And, on that note, I really should depart. I've officially landed temporary work for the rest of the summer after my disastrous accidental resignation from F.Y.E., so be happy for me!
Happy Wednesday!
