April 6, 2009
One of my favorite/least favorite parts of General Conference weekend is the protesters. Why, you ask?

I don't like them because they're full of anger and the spirit of Satan. That makes me sad that they're unhappy when I'm so happy.

However, I like them a lot because some of their signs are downright hilarious. There was one that I saw yesterday that I've been thinking about quite a bit. It's been on my mind because of the deceptively simple message it bore:

WARNING CHURCH OF SATAN

Now, what on Earth does that mean? The lack of punctuation makes what appears to be appears to be a poorly contrived slanderous remark into something much more confusing. Let's discuss the possibilities, shall we?

  1. The man bearing the sign obviously felt concern for the wellbeing of the members of the Church of Satan. Fearing that their faith would be tainted by ours, he was warning them to pick another day to congregate at the Conference Center, as Sunday was a day it would be full of Mormons.
  2. The man felt that his being posed enough of an obvious threat, so he didn't feel the need actually put it into words on his sign. Besides, it would have taken too much room to write "Warning Church of Satan that I, a man in a light pink windbreaker, will attack you with my amazing technicolored dream-beard should you choose to not heed my very threatening posture and walk away." Really, his aura said it all.
  3. The man felt concern for the welfare of the LDS Church and figured we didn't understand the reality of Satan. Therefore, he was stating his agenda before warning us all to stay away from the evil influences of the Son of the Morning.

If it wasn't one of those three, I don't really see what he was trying to say.

It's really amazing how disregarding basic English grammar/punctuation rules can throw your credibility right out the window. Because of his poorly constructed attack, I was even less interested in listening to him than I would have been had he leveled an intelligent insult. Honestly, it's bad enough that your insulting my church, don't try and take a stab at my intelligence too.

posted by Gwennifer at 3:30 PM |



4 Comments:

At 6:13 PM, Blogger MoonyMoMo said........
You ever see the kids who go out there to protest the protesters?
I have to do that one of these days. haha
 

At 9:18 PM, Blogger Rachel Adventure said........
Oh man seriously? That is just embarrassing.

How many protesters ended up bugging you down there?
 

At 12:07 PM, Blogger Abby said........
I'm going with the first. That was really very Christian of him to be concerned for Satanists, despite their differing viewpoints on religion. Good for him.
 

At 5:04 PM, Blogger do.the.wave said........
Excellent Sondheim allusion. I highly approve:)