I forget whether or not I mentioned it, but Grandma and I have made plans to audition for Humor U this upcoming September. We've scoped out the various comedy scenes across campus and come to the conclusion that Humor U is by far the most enjoyable. That, and we're fairly confident that we're hilarious.
That being said, I've started to stockpile funny things that happen to me in the hopes that I'll strike stand-up gold. Here are a couple of instances...and yes, you may tell me if I'm a loser and/or completely dumb rather than funny.
1. The Dog Incident: Anyone who's ever lived in Utah can attest that the weather is unpredictable. A whole week of spring weather being decimated by a freak snowstorm is of less mention than, say, the fact that human beings inhale and exhale while breathing. That being said, it surprised me very little when the weather turned nasty the day that my aunt, Animal Advocate, helped me move out of Wyview. As we drove through American Fork and glanced at the ominous thunderheads in the distance, a conversation began...
Animal Advocate: "So, what do you want to do tonight?"
Gwennifer: "No way, I have no idea what's in American Fork. You decide."
Animal Advocate: "Well, you want to drive the Nebo loop? It goes up into the mountains and..."
She trailed off as we both stared at what was quickly shaping up to be "Return to Night on Bald Mountain".
Animal Advocate: "Well, maybe not...how about Thanksgiving Point? The tulip festival is going on--"
The car suddenly jolts to a stop. I could tell from the trembling in my bone marrow that something catastrophic was about to happen.
Animal Advocate: "I recognize that dog!"
One five-point turn in a very narrow street later, I still hadn't seen this dog. That is, until she began gang busting down the street after what appeared to be an orange and black rabbit. Upon closer inspection, it became apparent that what we were pursuing was a miniature Doberman of sorts. Heck, I was amazed she'd even seen the darn thing in the first place.
What followed was a very shady chase around the neighborhood after what was clearly a terrified pocket puppy. She tried backing into yards with her car, whistling for it out the window, and having me jump out of the car to scoop it up mafia-style [alright, I volunteered to do the last one, but just so I could actually take part in the story]. Surprisingly, Fido wasn't digging this idea, so he continued to run from us--into traffic. He almost got nailed three times before finally tore through some hooligan's front yard.
Now, I know you've been enthralled up to this point, but I believe it's the following dialogue that makes this whole story worth telling...
Animal Advocate: "Hey, did you see that dog run through your yard?" [How could he have missed it?]
Hooligan: "Yeah, he's ours."
Animal Advocate then paused for a moment, perhaps recovering from the shock of discovering that she in fact wasn't familiar with the quarry after all. Oh, if only it had ended there...
Animal Advocate: "...well, he almost got hit three times!" [Because we were chasing him!!!]
Hooligan: "Yeah, he's stupid like that. He's a dog."
Animal Advocate: "Yeah, well, who's stupid!?"
Fast forward to ten seconds later. We've sped away as fast as we can in the car and I'm staring straight ahead in terror of the prospect of being gunned down by a hooligan. Why should I have to die over such an ambiguous insult?! Animal Advocate has begun a bitter diatribe against irresponsible dog owners without adequate fencing in their yards. It has begun to rain.
Then, just moments later...
Animal Advocate: "So, you want to go to Thanksgiving Point?"
2. The Preposterously Sticky Gum: There are some things in life that I like to call "stage business in real life". You've seen those movies where people get into ridiculous fixes and perform all kinds of acrobatics to get out of them, like a man house sitting for his boss bends down to tie his shoe, which knocks over a vase which lights a match and sends it flying into a highly flammable curtain which catches fire. The man is then left to deal with saving the house and his job. Things like this shouldn't happen in real life, right?
I went to a YSA fireside last night. The people who volunteered to host it have this positively gorgeous house, and I decided that I was going to tell them once the meeting was over. It was in this same moment that my gum got stuck to my lip after unsuccessfully trying to blow a bubble.
So post-meeting, after effusively complimenting the house people's decor, I decided that the gum I was chewing simply wasn't cutting the mustard any longer. I went over to the trash can to throw it away, forgetting COMPLETELY that it was the ultra sticky gum that never comes off of anything. I popped it into my hand, began rolling it furiously around in my fingers so as to avoid sticking, and stick it in the trash.
If the giant gum rope still attached to my palm wasn't enough to tip me off, the subsequent rope that flew out and attached itself to the nearby cabinet face was. I frantically scraped it off, hoping and praying that God would be merciful and allow the hosts not to see me, even if everyone else in the room was blatantly staring at my idiocy. Thankfully, I cleaned it off the cabinet, but my hands were still covered in this tropically flavored nightmare.
Hoping to extricate the gum from the my hands for good, I sidled over to the man of the house. We'll call him The Jolly Boatman...
Gweniffer: "Excuse me, could you tell me where your bathroom is?"
The Jolly Boatman: "Sorry, what?"
In his defense, my mortification was causing me to mumble quite a bit. I don't remember whether or not I was trying to be discreet and/or stealthy, but either way he couldn't hear me. We tried this about three more times until I exasperatedly half-yelled "BATHROOM!"
The Jolly Boatman: "Oh, sure! Up the stairs, to the left!"
I quickly shuffled my way upstairs full of renewed hope that my hands would soon be free. However, upon entering the bathroom, my flustered self bumbled right into a cabinet...table thing. The collision caused a bottle of lotion and the lid of a latern full of cotton balls to go flying, of course causing a clatter. It's only fitting that they'd think I'd destroyed the bathroom on top of wrecking their kitchen.
After hastily replacing the flying objects, I began furiously scrubbing my hands in the sink. Thinking that I'd at last gotten rid of all the gum, I began to dry my hands--only to discover that I was getting gum all over the towels.
Cursing my stupidity for ever even thinking about the word "Gum", I hustled downstairs and blushingly told my mother that we really needed to leave. She consenting and allowed me to rush her out while I antisocially refused to shake hands with anyone. The cherry on the cake of the whole night was the brick that I almost kicked out of their walkway in my haste to flew the wake of my destruction.
Apparently, I wreck homes that I find attractive.
Well, that's all I have for now. In the event of more lunacy coming my way, I'll be sure to post about it.
P.S. I'm probably working at Chipotle for the third summer in a row :/
I'm awesome.
Before I put my thoughts out on the table, I'd like to make a note that I do indeed realize it's almost three. My sleep schedule is going to be INSANE when I get home, but whatever. I'm aware of the fact that I'm still awake.
Anyway, the reason I'm awake [and blogging] is that I know I won't remember exactly what I want to say or how to say it if I put if off until the morning. So, without further ado...
A very long time ago--rewind to when I was in 8th grade--my friends saw a movie called Princess Mononoke. Now, I wasn't a fan of anime at the time and I'm really not a huge fan of it now, but because my friends saw it, I HAD to see it. However, because my parents thought a PG-13 rating was a little too much to deal with when I was all of 13, those thoughts were arduously trampled from my head.
Seven years later, I'm reminded of the fact that I still haven't seen this movie when a presentation is given on it during my International Cinema final. Realizing that I can finally tick that one off my list of things I've been meaning to do since I was 13, I found it on Youtube/Google Video and embarked on the quest to find out just what I had missed out on so many years ago.
The PG-13 rating was deserved. There was some blood and quite a bit of battle violence [nothing out of control], but what made it really weird was the physical manifestation of anger that possessed some of the forest gods--thick writhing red and black slugs. It was really interesting and true to Miyazaki style, but it was still pretty weird.
Anyway, without going too deeply into the story line, I just wanted to comment quickly one of the prevalent motifs in the film: female-led communities. All of the major societies [with two notable exceptions] were under the direction of women. The Emishi tribe where the protagonist, Ashitaka, comes from is led by a Wise Woman. From there, he ventures to a place called Iron Town where he meets Lady Eboshi, the domineering leader who inflicts deforestation on the surrounding ecosystem for the sake of the success of Iron Town [a smelting town]. He also meets San, princess of the wolf tribe, and the Forest Spirit, which plays the maternal role of healer and bringer of life and death [the forest itself plays a maternal opposite to the paternal presence of the iron works].
When I was watching it, I wasn't uncomfortable with the idea of women running these societies, but it felt perceptively different from how male-dominated societies run [ie. a world I'm used to living in]. They ran every bit as efficiently, but...I suppose I want to say that there was more concern for nurturing than there usually is when men are in charge. The violence came from conflicting nurturing desires--Eboshi for the success of the town [which in turn meant employment and prosperity for saved prostitutes and lepers, the employees of the town] and San for the forest and the well being of all the creatures in it.
The two exceptions I mentioned earlier were the tribe of the Boars [a race of gigantic boars, seriously] and the Emperor's samurai. The Boars, led by a giant male Boar god named Okkoto, are characteristically stubborn and run into battle without considering the trap that was laid for them by the humans. Almost their entire army was wiped out because of their pride. The samurai, given directives by the emperor, were ruthless and purely concerned with their own gain rather than trying to promote peace between the forest and the humans. Essentially, both phallocentric societies felt themselves above the nurturing necessary to promote peace between societies. Consequently, both societies crumbled in the wake of either the weaponry of hate or the renewal of the land at the hand of the maternal Forest Spirit.
Along with all this, this film plays a lot of opposites off of each other. Man v. Woman, Nature v. Industry, Love v. Hate, Control v. Violence, Pride v. Humility, Mankind v. Animals. I could go on for pages, but I'm starting to lose steam.
I don't think I'd recommend it if you're not into anime or violence to prove a point. However, if you'd like to watch it, I'd certainly suggest doing so after the kids go to bed. The monsters and battle scenes could be upsetting...I'm probably going to have some CRAZY nightmares tonight, no jokes.
Miyazaki is a visionary, there's no doubt about that. However, if I had to really champion one of his films, I think I'd opt for Grave of the Fireflies or Howl's Moving Castle or even Spirited Away rather than Princess Mononoke. I feel as if the aforementioned films are less heavy-handed in their message and that they portray said messages just as strongly but with less violence.
So, chew it over and answer if you have any thoughts, regardless of whether or not you've seen it. Oh, and please don't take this as a diatribe against men. That's certainly not what I was going for.
Yikes, too much posting. Good night!
Anyway, the reason I'm awake [and blogging] is that I know I won't remember exactly what I want to say or how to say it if I put if off until the morning. So, without further ado...
A very long time ago--rewind to when I was in 8th grade--my friends saw a movie called Princess Mononoke. Now, I wasn't a fan of anime at the time and I'm really not a huge fan of it now, but because my friends saw it, I HAD to see it. However, because my parents thought a PG-13 rating was a little too much to deal with when I was all of 13, those thoughts were arduously trampled from my head.
Seven years later, I'm reminded of the fact that I still haven't seen this movie when a presentation is given on it during my International Cinema final. Realizing that I can finally tick that one off my list of things I've been meaning to do since I was 13, I found it on Youtube/Google Video and embarked on the quest to find out just what I had missed out on so many years ago.
The PG-13 rating was deserved. There was some blood and quite a bit of battle violence [nothing out of control], but what made it really weird was the physical manifestation of anger that possessed some of the forest gods--thick writhing red and black slugs. It was really interesting and true to Miyazaki style, but it was still pretty weird.
Anyway, without going too deeply into the story line, I just wanted to comment quickly one of the prevalent motifs in the film: female-led communities. All of the major societies [with two notable exceptions] were under the direction of women. The Emishi tribe where the protagonist, Ashitaka, comes from is led by a Wise Woman. From there, he ventures to a place called Iron Town where he meets Lady Eboshi, the domineering leader who inflicts deforestation on the surrounding ecosystem for the sake of the success of Iron Town [a smelting town]. He also meets San, princess of the wolf tribe, and the Forest Spirit, which plays the maternal role of healer and bringer of life and death [the forest itself plays a maternal opposite to the paternal presence of the iron works].
When I was watching it, I wasn't uncomfortable with the idea of women running these societies, but it felt perceptively different from how male-dominated societies run [ie. a world I'm used to living in]. They ran every bit as efficiently, but...I suppose I want to say that there was more concern for nurturing than there usually is when men are in charge. The violence came from conflicting nurturing desires--Eboshi for the success of the town [which in turn meant employment and prosperity for saved prostitutes and lepers, the employees of the town] and San for the forest and the well being of all the creatures in it.
The two exceptions I mentioned earlier were the tribe of the Boars [a race of gigantic boars, seriously] and the Emperor's samurai. The Boars, led by a giant male Boar god named Okkoto, are characteristically stubborn and run into battle without considering the trap that was laid for them by the humans. Almost their entire army was wiped out because of their pride. The samurai, given directives by the emperor, were ruthless and purely concerned with their own gain rather than trying to promote peace between the forest and the humans. Essentially, both phallocentric societies felt themselves above the nurturing necessary to promote peace between societies. Consequently, both societies crumbled in the wake of either the weaponry of hate or the renewal of the land at the hand of the maternal Forest Spirit.
Along with all this, this film plays a lot of opposites off of each other. Man v. Woman, Nature v. Industry, Love v. Hate, Control v. Violence, Pride v. Humility, Mankind v. Animals. I could go on for pages, but I'm starting to lose steam.
I don't think I'd recommend it if you're not into anime or violence to prove a point. However, if you'd like to watch it, I'd certainly suggest doing so after the kids go to bed. The monsters and battle scenes could be upsetting...I'm probably going to have some CRAZY nightmares tonight, no jokes.
Miyazaki is a visionary, there's no doubt about that. However, if I had to really champion one of his films, I think I'd opt for Grave of the Fireflies or Howl's Moving Castle or even Spirited Away rather than Princess Mononoke. I feel as if the aforementioned films are less heavy-handed in their message and that they portray said messages just as strongly but with less violence.
So, chew it over and answer if you have any thoughts, regardless of whether or not you've seen it. Oh, and please don't take this as a diatribe against men. That's certainly not what I was going for.
Yikes, too much posting. Good night!
posted by Gwennifer at 2:55 AM
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1 comments
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1 comments
I need to take them more often.
This afternoon, my friend Critter and I finally made it over to the MOA to see the Dan Steinhilber exhibit. I busted out the italics because we've been trying to make this happen for almost a month. Alas, alack, we're both fabulously busy people, so it took a while for us to coordinate and set aside the time.
The exhibit was AWESOME! The whole idea was finding the extraordinary in the commonplace objects around us. For instance, one room had a huge pile of packing peanuts in the corner with a air blower situated in front of it. At sporadic intervals, the blower would kick on and the peanuts would fly around! Another cool one was this huge board covered entirely in duck sauce packets. I loved that the objects themselves weren't changed, but rather presented in a fashion different from how we're used to seeing them. The perspective was enough to make you really consider what an object really is. I highly recommend a viewing.
Duck Sauce
Packing Peanuts meet Air Blower
Balloon Sculpture
We also trangled around the Walter Wick exhibit. Who is Mr. Wick, you ask? Does the title I Spy... ring a bell? Yeah, he's that guy. All his pictures were set up BY HAND. The man doesn't use digital tricks to make his photographs awesome! Also a great exhibit.
In addition to all the loveliness of unexpected art, I enjoyed the wonderful company/commentary of Critter. He's a really cool guy :]
Consensus: I need to spend more time in museums this summer. I haven't been the Smithsonian in a while, so I'll probably have some DC adventures. Any takers?
This afternoon, my friend Critter and I finally made it over to the MOA to see the Dan Steinhilber exhibit. I busted out the italics because we've been trying to make this happen for almost a month. Alas, alack, we're both fabulously busy people, so it took a while for us to coordinate and set aside the time.
The exhibit was AWESOME! The whole idea was finding the extraordinary in the commonplace objects around us. For instance, one room had a huge pile of packing peanuts in the corner with a air blower situated in front of it. At sporadic intervals, the blower would kick on and the peanuts would fly around! Another cool one was this huge board covered entirely in duck sauce packets. I loved that the objects themselves weren't changed, but rather presented in a fashion different from how we're used to seeing them. The perspective was enough to make you really consider what an object really is. I highly recommend a viewing.
Duck Sauce
Packing Peanuts meet Air Blower
Balloon Sculpture
We also trangled around the Walter Wick exhibit. Who is Mr. Wick, you ask? Does the title I Spy... ring a bell? Yeah, he's that guy. All his pictures were set up BY HAND. The man doesn't use digital tricks to make his photographs awesome! Also a great exhibit.
In addition to all the loveliness of unexpected art, I enjoyed the wonderful company/commentary of Critter. He's a really cool guy :]
Consensus: I need to spend more time in museums this summer. I haven't been the Smithsonian in a while, so I'll probably have some DC adventures. Any takers?
posted by Gwennifer at 1:59 PM |
3 comments
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3 comments
~m~(O_o)~m~
That's right, my friends. I feel as if the last week or so has been awkward baby turtles because Finals is always a time of studying more than the rest of the semester AND playing more than the rest of the semester. I've been dutifully filling my head with facts and such, yet the past few nights I've been out (or in) doing all sorts of fun things.
FOR INSTANCE--
On Wednesday afternoon [after a morning of legit studying, I want to add], Apartment #84 in its entirety attended our ward closing social. Thanks to frugal budget indulgence, we had enough to taken all 80 or so ward members to the Golden Corral [I always pronounce it like "coral"]--free all-you-can-eat-dinner, WHAT WHAT?!
Post over-consumption, we went back home where Becca and I slept off our respective carb stupors while Grandma went to a baby shower [to eat more] and Nadin went on campus to work on a project. By the time we woke up, it was time to go to the second part of the social: the obligatory ward slide show documenting our year together.
I was both acutely aware and glad that we neglected to submit pictures. The bulk of the ones I'm in this year are NARSTY.
Anyway, post-"Awww, Wyview!", we thought it would be fun to watch Om Shanti Om again. We made a semi-public announcement, went home, and waited for our minions--er, friends to arrive. We ended up with a pretty good number--so good, in fact, that when our friend Joe's-way dropped in that he thought he was interrupting a triple date :/
As per usual, the movie rocked. We were all sort of loitering afterwards when Joe's-way, Mermaidian Bliss, and The Key Misplacer decided to have a snowball fight outside [instigated when The Key Misplacer decided to start messing with Mermaidian Bliss's cousin, Easily Startled]. It was all in good fun--until The Key Misplacer knocked on Easily Startled's door and thew a huge snow clod at her.
A little while after the battle had dissipated, I received a call from Mermaidian Bliss...
Mermaidian Bliss: Hey Genevieve, you want to come help us with a prank on [insert The Key Misplacer's real name here]?
Genevieve: Um, you know it!
From there, Nadin and I met up with Mermaidian Bliss and Easily Startled. We then piled snow halfway up The Key Misplacer's door [the door opened a couple of times, but we still got away with it]. Upon barricading the door, we sprayed the whole thing with residual Easter egg dye. The cherry on the cake was the sign we left above the door:
That's right, my friends. I feel as if the last week or so has been awkward baby turtles because Finals is always a time of studying more than the rest of the semester AND playing more than the rest of the semester. I've been dutifully filling my head with facts and such, yet the past few nights I've been out (or in) doing all sorts of fun things.
FOR INSTANCE--
On Wednesday afternoon [after a morning of legit studying, I want to add], Apartment #84 in its entirety attended our ward closing social. Thanks to frugal budget indulgence, we had enough to taken all 80 or so ward members to the Golden Corral [I always pronounce it like "coral"]--free all-you-can-eat-dinner, WHAT WHAT?!
Post over-consumption, we went back home where Becca and I slept off our respective carb stupors while Grandma went to a baby shower [to eat more] and Nadin went on campus to work on a project. By the time we woke up, it was time to go to the second part of the social: the obligatory ward slide show documenting our year together.
I was both acutely aware and glad that we neglected to submit pictures. The bulk of the ones I'm in this year are NARSTY.
Anyway, post-"Awww, Wyview!", we thought it would be fun to watch Om Shanti Om again. We made a semi-public announcement, went home, and waited for our minions--er, friends to arrive. We ended up with a pretty good number--so good, in fact, that when our friend Joe's-way dropped in that he thought he was interrupting a triple date :/
As per usual, the movie rocked. We were all sort of loitering afterwards when Joe's-way, Mermaidian Bliss, and The Key Misplacer decided to have a snowball fight outside [instigated when The Key Misplacer decided to start messing with Mermaidian Bliss's cousin, Easily Startled]. It was all in good fun--until The Key Misplacer knocked on Easily Startled's door and thew a huge snow clod at her.
A little while after the battle had dissipated, I received a call from Mermaidian Bliss...
Mermaidian Bliss: Hey Genevieve, you want to come help us with a prank on [insert The Key Misplacer's real name here]?
Genevieve: Um, you know it!
From there, Nadin and I met up with Mermaidian Bliss and Easily Startled. We then piled snow halfway up The Key Misplacer's door [the door opened a couple of times, but we still got away with it]. Upon barricading the door, we sprayed the whole thing with residual Easter egg dye. The cherry on the cake was the sign we left above the door:
FREE SNOW CONES!
It was a pretty ballin' prank, if I do say so myself.
Yesterday, I studied lots and lots in the library and rocked my final presentation in English 251, so I decided to give myself the night off for good behavior. Luckily, Joe's-way seemed to feel my readiness for fun in The Force, as he called me and asked if I was up for some Mao.
When am I not!? replied I. Nadin and I then trooped over to Joe's-way apartment where we Mao'D for like two and a half hours. It was great.
Tonight? I have no idea. I wanted to go play Commando, but it's been raining and snowing for the past four days, so probably not. However, on a happier note, I am going to see any art exhibit with my friend Critter in about three hours, so that'll be fun.
Oh, and did I mention that I'll be back in Maryland in eight days? Fun stuff, right?
Happy Friday!
P.S. My brother, Snootch, just told me that he got hired as a full-time seminary teacher! He'll find out where soon [please be Utah!], and I'm so excited for him! Way to go, Snootch!
Yesterday, I studied lots and lots in the library and rocked my final presentation in English 251, so I decided to give myself the night off for good behavior. Luckily, Joe's-way seemed to feel my readiness for fun in The Force, as he called me and asked if I was up for some Mao.
When am I not!? replied I. Nadin and I then trooped over to Joe's-way apartment where we Mao'D for like two and a half hours. It was great.
Tonight? I have no idea. I wanted to go play Commando, but it's been raining and snowing for the past four days, so probably not. However, on a happier note, I am going to see any art exhibit with my friend Critter in about three hours, so that'll be fun.
Oh, and did I mention that I'll be back in Maryland in eight days? Fun stuff, right?
Happy Friday!
P.S. My brother, Snootch, just told me that he got hired as a full-time seminary teacher! He'll find out where soon [please be Utah!], and I'm so excited for him! Way to go, Snootch!
posted by Gwennifer at 9:17 AM |
3 comments
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3 comments
Since both Christmas and Easter are holidays centered around the miracle of Christ, I've decided that I'd like to post about the reasons I'm grateful for his sacrifice on this most blessed of days:
- I am a very imperfect person. I catch myself missing opportunities to do little things all the time that I know the Savior has specifically asked us to be better about [ie. "love one another"] or flat-out just not being righteous. However, I know that because of His suffering in the garden that he understands my limitations and looks upon me with sympathetic eyes rather than damning anger every time I mess up. His empathy makes me want to be better every day to show that I appreciate his undeserved forgiveness.
- The future is bright. Although things may appear bleak in the future of the world, I can feel peace knowing that the world after this one carries the promises of joy because Christ gave us the ability to return to Heavenly Father. If I were in the dark about my fate after death, I don't think I'd lead a very happy existence. So many people I've either grown up with or met along the path of Life are groping along in the impenetrable mystery of what awaits us on the other side. Others have given up all hope and choose instead to live as if Life ends after death. I'm so grateful not only to know what awaits us, but how to attain the greatest and most eternal happiness there is: to return to the presence of Heavenly and Jesus Christ.
- Holidays that specifically help us to focus on the life and ministry of Christ are always appreciated. More often than not, I get caught up in either homework or social life or simply myself. I lose sight of Christ's plan for us, and I feel myself falling into what seems at the time "inexplicable despair". Days that are set aside for the sole purpose of paying homage to the life and sacrifice of the Son of God is a great blessing to a worshipper who wishes to increase their understanding and appreciation for Christ.
- Christ's sacrifice not only enabled us to return to live with our Heavenly Father, but also enabled us to live for all eternity with our families. The idea of being sealed to my current family [and later on, the family I'll start] brings me such sweet comfort.
posted by Gwennifer at 10:14 AM |
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2 comments
Here's what it's looking like...
- English 291: British Literary History (3)
- English 312: Persuasive Writing (3)
- English 384: American Authors--Edgar Allen Poe (3) (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
- Religion C 351: Survey of World Religions (3)
- TMA 201: Dramatic Performance: Antiquity to Renaissance (3)
- TMA 251: Playwrighting (3)
Yes, that's 18 credits. Whether or not it would even be ethical to try working in the Writing Center is still up in the air, but I think it sounds like a good semester. I wanted to take English 320: Writing for Children and Adolescents, but that can wait. In case I hadn't informed the world, I've decided to pursue Creative Writing. I'm thinking that writing children's books would be a good outlet for all this rainbow madness I have jammed in my brain.
We'll see how this goes.
posted by Gwennifer at 1:29 PM |
1 comments
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1 comments
One of my favorite/least favorite parts of General Conference weekend is the protesters. Why, you ask?
I don't like them because they're full of anger and the spirit of Satan. That makes me sad that they're unhappy when I'm so happy.
However, I like them a lot because some of their signs are downright hilarious. There was one that I saw yesterday that I've been thinking about quite a bit. It's been on my mind because of the deceptively simple message it bore:
Now, what on Earth does that mean? The lack of punctuation makes what appears to be appears to be a poorly contrived slanderous remark into something much more confusing. Let's discuss the possibilities, shall we?
I don't like them because they're full of anger and the spirit of Satan. That makes me sad that they're unhappy when I'm so happy.
However, I like them a lot because some of their signs are downright hilarious. There was one that I saw yesterday that I've been thinking about quite a bit. It's been on my mind because of the deceptively simple message it bore:
WARNING CHURCH OF SATAN
Now, what on Earth does that mean? The lack of punctuation makes what appears to be appears to be a poorly contrived slanderous remark into something much more confusing. Let's discuss the possibilities, shall we?
- The man bearing the sign obviously felt concern for the wellbeing of the members of the Church of Satan. Fearing that their faith would be tainted by ours, he was warning them to pick another day to congregate at the Conference Center, as Sunday was a day it would be full of Mormons.
- The man felt that his being posed enough of an obvious threat, so he didn't feel the need actually put it into words on his sign. Besides, it would have taken too much room to write "Warning Church of Satan that I, a man in a light pink windbreaker, will attack you with my amazing technicolored dream-beard should you choose to not heed my very threatening posture and walk away." Really, his aura said it all.
- The man felt concern for the welfare of the LDS Church and figured we didn't understand the reality of Satan. Therefore, he was stating his agenda before warning us all to stay away from the evil influences of the Son of the Morning.
If it wasn't one of those three, I don't really see what he was trying to say.
It's really amazing how disregarding basic English grammar/punctuation rules can throw your credibility right out the window. Because of his poorly constructed attack, I was even less interested in listening to him than I would have been had he leveled an intelligent insult. Honestly, it's bad enough that your insulting my church, don't try and take a stab at my intelligence too.
posted by Gwennifer at 3:30 PM |
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4 comments
Mmm, that's still not getting old.
So, interesting happenings this week. To begin with, I've been sick--BOO! I hate being under the weather. I've gotten over the bulk of it at this point, but still. I was hoping to head into Conference weekend with a clean bill of health.
I finished Slumdog Millionaire on Tuesday. It certainly wasn't the best book I've ever read, but it was interesting. I'm currently embroiled in both Anna Karenina and The Wild Duck. I do have The Sound and The Fury, but pleasure is taking a backseat to responsibility until I'm all caught up from when I was ill.
Speaking of literary pursuits, the Literary Club I set up is super fun! Admittedly, we never exceed four people at our meetings, but I find the whole experience very uplifting. We discuss what we've been reading lately, make recommendations, do some Oscar Wilde Reader's Theatre. It's good times.
Wednesday was another Adventure Night! Grandma, Gangle Machine, Orange Box, and I went to the Orem Story Telling Guild's Second Annual Tall Tale Telling Contest...
So, interesting happenings this week. To begin with, I've been sick--BOO! I hate being under the weather. I've gotten over the bulk of it at this point, but still. I was hoping to head into Conference weekend with a clean bill of health.
I finished Slumdog Millionaire on Tuesday. It certainly wasn't the best book I've ever read, but it was interesting. I'm currently embroiled in both Anna Karenina and The Wild Duck. I do have The Sound and The Fury, but pleasure is taking a backseat to responsibility until I'm all caught up from when I was ill.
Speaking of literary pursuits, the Literary Club I set up is super fun! Admittedly, we never exceed four people at our meetings, but I find the whole experience very uplifting. We discuss what we've been reading lately, make recommendations, do some Oscar Wilde Reader's Theatre. It's good times.
Wednesday was another Adventure Night! Grandma, Gangle Machine, Orange Box, and I went to the Orem Story Telling Guild's Second Annual Tall Tale Telling Contest...
- I didn't even know Orem HAD a Story Telling Guild.
- I'm totally trying to get in on that next year.
Going into it, we knew it was completely hit or miss. Fortunately, the bulk of the stories were laughter inducing, especially the stories that told us how to defeat ninjas [dry snow--the answer was so obvious all along!], grandmothers in water balloon wars, zombies who are after your PB & J, giant Jurrasic lake drain plugs WHILE being impaled by your steering wheel, and just about every merit badge a boy scout can throw at you. We all heartily enjoyed ourselves--except I was feeling a little intimidated by the child in the corner who kept growling at me. I have no idea what I did to him, but he was no fan of mine. As a whole, the evening was an EPIC SUCCESS.
Although I usually don't, I did pull a couple of April Fool's Day pranks this year. I successfully got my parents to believe that I was proposed to, then got all my roommates to believe that I'd met President Eyring in the library. I doubt it had anything to do with my lying capabilities--I'd just say that gullibility is at an all-time peak this year.
Oooh! So, yesterday after Literary Club, Nadin had invited some of our friends over to watch La Misma Luna [Under the Same Moon]. IT WAS SO GOOD! It told the story of a woman and her son living on opposite sides of the US-Mexico border. While she worked to get enough money for his citizenship, he lived with his Grandmother. Mom had been away for FOUR YEARS when Abuelita finally kicked the bucket. So, rather than go to live with his greedy uncle, Carlitos decided to cross the border and find his mom himself. While I generally don't condone illegal activities, this was a very touching movie. I lurved it.
Alright, with that, I need to go figure out when I shall depart to head up to Salt Lake. Have a great Conference weekend!
posted by Gwennifer at 10:10 AM |
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