The Realm of the Pachyderm

Translation: I went to the Festival of Colors at the nearby Hindu temple yesterday.

Last year, I noticed a slew of albums on Facebook containing pictures of people covered on colored powder. Since then, I was determined to become one of those people. So, this year, Grandma and I, with a couple of friends from around Wyview, trekked over to Spanish Fork to participate in the Festival of Colors. "What is this festival for?" you ask? Well, essentially, it's marking the end of winter and ushering in spring. An effigy of a witch is burned [presumably the witch of winter], then all those in attendance throw bags of colored powder at each other.

Just because I love enlighten folks.

Grandma: Supermodel [You Better Work] by Ru Paul

A fabulous tribute to our favorite transvestite, Ru Paul. Remember, wet your lips and make love to the camera.

Becca: A Favor House Atlantic by Coheed and Cambria or Until The Day I Die by Story of the Year

I just like to imagine Becca's expressions while listening to my raucous music. It's hilarious.

However, because I suggested songs the others would actually like, I'll give you Ode to Optophobia by Danielle Ate the Sandwich. It's pretty cute.

Nadin: Start Wearing Purple by Gogol Bordello

It doesn't get more ethnic than Gogol Bordello. This is one Eastern European you don't want to miss.

Everyone else: Like a Record by Dead or Alive

Three words: long golden fingernails. It'll change your already warped and sicknasty view of the 80's for good.

Ok, that's all. NOW GO!

Today is kind of a "Good News, Bad News" day, so we'll get the bad news out of the way first.

It isn't really news, but I still feel prompted to vent about it. I'm kind of baffled about how the idea of the criminality of the stay-at-home mom has crept into the BYU bubble. Please don't misunderstand me, there are plenty of women on campus who get their degrees, then become full-time mothers, but I'm starting to feel like I'm in the minority of girls who just don't want professional careers. I was racking my brain earlier to think of just ONE of my female friends who wasn't interested in having a career after college, and I came up with zero names.

Where does antagonism come into this, you say? It's the patronizing way other girls nod their heads and say, "Oh, that's cool" [when they clearly don't think so] when I tell them that my career goal is to not have one. Don't get me wrong, having a degree is a great safety plan in the event that I'll actually need it, but I don't want to graduate with a head full of thoughts about my career goals. If I could figure out how to use an English degree for some sort of stay-at-home job IN THE EVENT OF MY FAMILY NEEDING THE MONEY, then perfect! However, if there isn't any need for my employment, then I will be so happy to stay at home and raise my children. The most influencial women in my life are all stay-at-home moms, and they're probably some of the happiest women I know to boot!

I feel as if BYU is giving off really mixed vibes. Sure, we're in Mormon Mecca and all kinds of council is streamed to us firsthand from the Lord's anoited. BUT, boys and girls, EVERYONE should be career-oriented! What are you trying to tell me, BYU? I am supposed to regard or disregard the Proclamation? You tell me that I should get continuing education and be prepared to use my degree just in case I need it, yet you're grooming me to get ready for a Master's, Ph.D, whatever. Once you make up your mind about where women are supposed to be, let me know.

Ok, now that that is out of my system, on to the good news!

Yesterday was the first time I've been skiing in like three weeks! Becca had a free equipment rental a la The Starving Student Card and decided that she wanted to have a crack at one of the greatest sports ever invented. It was a beautifully warm day, which made the snow nice and slushy [just how I love it!]. Becca and I both had a good time traipsing around the slopes, even though it was her first time and I don't think I make for much of a teacher >.<

Post-esquiando, Grandma wanted this guy's number [we'll call him Gangle Machine], so I called the guy who I had gone out with on Friday [we'll call him Orange Box] to see if he had it. Fortunately, Orange Box had Gangle Machine's number, which I was able to give to Grandma. Grandma called Gangle Machine to see if he wanted to go see Macbeth with her today, but alas, he informed her that would be occupied at 7:30 this evening.

Back to my previous conversation with Orange Box, he'd mentioned that he and Gangle Machine were thinking about hanging out later and asked if I'd be interested in joining them. I said I would, hoping that a plan would materialize [since I'm a pretty big fan of Orange Box]. Much to my delight, Orange Box called back about 15-20 minutes later to inform me that he and Gangle Machine were going Laser Tagging. I enthusiastically agreed to go along, much pleased by the prospect of black lights and pseudo-firearms. Then--

Gangle Machine: ::Taking the phone from Orange Box:: Hey, Genevieve, could you ask [insert Grandma's real name here] if she'd like to come?

Grandma was pleased and agreed to join us.

All in all, we had a super good time. I'm not very good at Laser Tag, but it was fun all the same. Orange Box and I squared off against Gangle Machine and Grandma. They took 4th and 1st respectively while we took 2nd and 3rd. Buenos tiempos.

Then, upon arriving back at Wyview, Orange Box decided that an impromptu dance party was necessary, so we danced in the parking lot while other cars passing us questioned our mental health. After chitchatting for a while, we dispersed with mutually excellent feelings about the evening.

My #1 favorite thing about college is probably the random excursions that would otherwise not be possible if I were at home :]

Ok, I have to go back to campus, but I hope everyone is having a great Thursday!

P.S. I'd forgotten how the warm weather brings the particularly cuddly couples out of hibernation. I've seen like 10 couples lounging on each other/making out all over the grass today. Cute.

Ok, all. I finally succumbed. Last night, Becca, Nadin, and I attended the 12:35 showing of Twilight. Becca had seen it before and couldn't contain her glee, Nadin wanted to see it so she could participate in derisive discussions, and I couldn't stand not knowing how horrible it was any longer.

I went in at 12:35 with exceedingly low expectations. I came out at 2:45 shocked that it was worse than I thought it would be.

I want to skip past the disjointed story line, erratic cinematography, and hokey special effects. To discuss them in full detail would be wasting more time than I already have being appalled by this movie. All I want to talk about it the atrocious acting that so many people are mistaking for "electric chemistry" on the screen.

For one thing, anyone who thinks that there was anything even close to chemistry probably thought The Lake House was a good movie because of the chemistry between Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock. People, BAD ACTING DOESN'T EQUAL CHEMISTRY. The two leads delivered their lines--poorly. There was no acting that I saw. Bella was incoherent and Edward was too busy noticing how pouty he looked while brooding in any shiny surface available! All the other actors were subordinated by this pseudo-testosterone-slash-estrogen parade that the poor audience was reminded of over and over again BY HUGE FLASHES OF EDWARD CULLEN'S BROODY FACE.

But, I suppose I can't really blame the untalented director too much. After all, the source material was just as horrible as the poorly contrived movie.

In other news, I went on a super fun date last night. We fed ducks, went to an LOL show, then got ice cream. It was pretty excellent :]

I played basketball this morning! No joke! Jesse from the ward has organized a team for the Relief Society, even though only four people showed this morning. But we were able to play two-on-two [Ariel and I got our butts kicked, but it was still awesome]. In the next little while, I'm going to go hike the Y with Grandma and a couple of other kids. It's a beautiful day, so it'll be mad fun.

Later tonight...maybe discovering the hot springs? Maybe? We'll see.

Happy Saturday!

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

Two hundred keyboards [including mine] tapping their way into mediocrity. We're all wearing the same look: deep concentration on assignments none of us care to finish. The fact of the matter is that half of these monitors are filling avid minds with Friend Requests and New Wall Photos. Since when did friendship come on request? Have you ever seen a wall spontaneously produce photography?

Even though I have my earbuds in, I can still here the tapping. I put them in to drown out the noise, but I'm paranoid about bursting my eardrums. When the music is this soft, the purpose of putting it on in the first place is kind of defeated.

I look out the window. Sunshine. The deceptive kind that tells you it's alright to wear a t-shirt, but then neglects to mention the wintry blasts tumbling down the mountains. A glance at one of the scanty trees would have told you as much, but it's much easier blaming our favorite star.

I stand and prepare to leave, since I can't even remember why I'm in the library in the first place. As I leave the room, the tapping follows me. I think nothing of it until I reach the floor below.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. I've also started to develop a headache.

Maybe a trip to the bathroom would help, I suggest to myself.

Capital idea, I think sullenly. I begin to rub my temple as if I actually expect it to do something. I'm so focused on this senseless exercise that I don't even notice the startled expression of the girl leaving the bathroom as I enter it.

It's when I look in the mirror that I realize that there are hundreds of tiny woodpeckers boring holes into my skull.

*For the sake of those who couldn't figure it out, this was just some creative writing. I'm not emo or pulling some weird metaphor for some direly angsty experience I'm going through. This was just a quick bit of imaginative writing.

So, it's official. At 6:15 AM on March 5th, 2009, I reached the bright and shining age of 20. It's hard to believe that I've just completed two decades of my life, but apparently, I have.

Not that anyone REALLY needs to know, but here's what my special day looked like...

Upon midnight striking, my birthday was heralded in by Nadin and Becca sitting on me. Why they thought this was a good idea is a mystery to me.

Post-trauma, I woke up around 9:30 to finish some homework that hadn't reached completion the night before. Much to my delight, Facebook was already awash with birthday wishes and general bliss from the hearts of my dear friends. What can I say? I'm a sucker for electronic affection.

Anyway, after I got ready for school, I went out to Nadin's car to get a ride to school. Just as we were about to leave, a mailman walks up to us...

Mailman: Are either of you in 84?
Genevieve: Why, yes, we both are.
Mailman: Are either of you...Busch?
Genevieve: That's me!

It turns out that my mom had rush delivered a birthday card to me so I'd have one on the actual day. It sang mariachi music and made me so happy I was fit to burst.

In my first class, someone actually brought this cheesecake dish--not for my birthday, but just because. Cool, huh? This girl also made me a birthday crown because she's cool like that.

After class is where we hit a snag in the road. Remembering that I owed gas money to Grandma and Nadin, I went to the Utah Community Credit Union ATM. Upon confirming all my information, I printed a receipt--but received no money. Finding myself most perplexed, I tried to perform another transaction, but the machine cancelled it! Annoyed, I went to a computer and checked to make sure the dumb thing hadn't withdrawn money without giving it to me. Seeing that all my money was still there, I decided to just get cash back next time I went shopping and went to get some lunch.

After ordering what promised to be a most excellent Caeser Salad Wrap, I prepared to pay. However...

L&T Girl: Um, it says your card is declined.
Genevieve: ::Thinking the ATM must have done this:: What?
L&T Girl: Let me try it again...
::Four or five attempts later...::
L&T Girl: Do you have any other valid forms of payment?

Positively fuming and with no other form of payment that would cover the cost, I went to Taco Bell instead and got something with the $1.30 I had on my signature card. As I sat down with my substantially less exciting lunch, I received a call from my mother...

Mom: So, guess what just came in the mail for you.
Genevieve: ...?
Mom: A new debit card.

Apparently, I had paid for something once upon a time. The database that my information had been entered into was hacked, causing all the cards that had paid in a certain time period to be cancelled. New cards were reissued from there. Thanks for not telling me beforehand, Tower!

After that debocal, I went to my other classes. My last class of the day dictated that I give my presentation on Wilfred Owen, which actually went really well! My clip of "War" by Edwin Starr didn't play, so I had to sing it myself. Much to my relief, the teacher thought the improvisational touch was awesome rather than revolting.

Once I had FINALLY finished classes, I hung around in the library before heading down to the RB for my classification match to get on the intramural tennis ladder. The match itself went splendidly--8-3, baby! However, this should be known...

Girl I played: So, how long have you been playing?
Genevieve: Well, since I was six...and high school, things like that...how about you?
Girl I played: I took a beginner class over the summer.
Genevieve: Oh!...well, nice to meet you!

I mean, I knew I was better than this girl, but come on! One beginner class? Oh well, I guess I should just take victories when I can and quit complaining.

After Grandma picked me up from campus, we all had delicious Oreo pie that Becca made for me. Thanks, Becca!

Then, per birthday wish decorum, we played Mao and Craphead [sorry, that's what it's called] because Grandma had promised me that she would play with us on my birthday [she doesn't like cards]. Wooo! Post-mortem, Nadin decided that another part of my birthday wish could be picking out any movie I wanted from Blockbuster because she had a free rental. Therefore--

I PICKED VITUS! It was awesome! I highly recommend it to everyone.

The birthday fun continues tomorrow, as Grandma and I [we need to find someone else to tag along] are planning to go visit my Uncle Saj in Salt Lake for some delish Pakistani cooking.

Thanks for the birthday wishes! For the 24 or so hours I've been 20, it's been pretty grand :]

Because Grandma was at a loss when I was telling her about my tennis excursion today, I've decided to compile a list of helpful tennis terms to remember next time I mention it.

Raquet: The implement with which you strike the ball.

Just kidding.

Baseline: The very back line of the court. Serves and most ground strokes take place on or around the baseline.

Alleys: The two columns on the sides of the court. If the ball enters one of the alleys during singles, the ball is called as out and the point goes to the player on that side. However, in doubles, alleys are fair game to be played in.

Service boxes: The two boxes in the front half of the court. In order for a serve to be considered in and playable, the server must serve the ball into the service box diagonal from their position behind the baseline. The service boxes are also where the net player in doubles stands when their partner is serving.

Ground strokes: Hitting the ball after it has bounced. Forehands and backhands are ground strokes.

Love: Zero. You use it at the beginning of every game to indicate that neither player has scored any points yet ("Love serving love."). It's also used to indicate if one player hasn't won any games yet ("Four serving love, love-love.").

15: One. Some people just count from one to three, but most players indicate one point by saying 15.

30: Two.

40: Three.

Deuce: When the score comes to 40-40, this is called deuce. A deuce can be settled one of two ways. If you're not playing "ads" (advantages), then the person who wins the next point wins the game. However, if you are playing ads...

Advantage: If one player wins the point after deuce, they have the "advantage". If the server has the advantage, they call the score as "Ad In" or "Advantage Server"; however, if the receiver has the advantage, the score is called as "Ad Out" or "Advantage Receiver". If the server wins the advantage, but then loses the next point, it goes back to deuce (this also works vice versa if the receiver gains the advantage). The player to win the advantage and the point following it wins the game.

Forehand: The stroke used to hit the ball with the dominant hand. For most people, it's the one-handed stroke done with the right hand.

Backhand: The stroke used to hit the ball with the weaker hand. It's generally done with both hands (unless you're awesome and have a one-handed backhand) and done on the left side of the body.

Playing the net: When playing doubles, one player generally plays in the back of the court while one plays the front of the court by the net. This can also be done in singles when the player moves up the court closer to the net. It's generally done so the player can volley a shot into a difficult angle and win the point.

Volley: Striking the ball without swinging. Volleys are more of a punch than anything else. They're mostly done at half court and up at the net, but can be used in certain situations at the baseline.

Lob: Generally used as a defensive shot (can be offensive), lobbing is when the ball is hit high into the air as a return.

I hope this has proven helpful. If there are any other questions, I'll be sure to update this most useful of glossaries.

1. On Thursday, I took my D&C Midterm. I rocked that piece with a 93%, which I feel was well deserved after a week of studying and worrying about it. To put it on the record, I'm not a good tester. Most of the problem used to be that my studying was really disorganized, so I'd try to cram everything in the night before. However, now that I've taken a Study Skills course, my scores and habits have improved noticeably.

B. I watched the last half of Titanic the other night with my roomies. After thinking about it for a while, I came to the conclusion that it was totally Rose's fault that Jack died. If she'd just stayed in the lifeboat like she was supposed to, Jack would have had more time to make his way onto a lifeboat AND they wouldn't have wasted time and energy running around in the freezing waters of the sinking ship! Alright, they did get the chance to be together when he died, but I think his chances of survival would have increased quite a bit--regardless of the fact that he was in C-class.

iii. It's my birthday is four days. This birthday is going to be a strange one, since it marks my official exodus from the most angst-ridden category of Teenagedom. Not that all the angst will automatically disappear, but I won't be lumped together with the mall rats anymore. This is excellent!

Cuatro: Speaking of interesting movies [which we weren't], last night was really funny. After going grocery shopping, we were unloading our food when we were approached by three people from our ward...

Will: "Hey, you guys! You want to go to the Dollar Theater?"
Me: ::A little hesitantly, since I was thinking about the sweet plans our apartment had to watch Lars and the Real Girl...until I realized we were always griping about not having enough social interaction:: "Sure! What are you going to see?"
Will: "Seven Pounds."
Me: ::Large intake of excited breath::
Andrew: "What, is it bad?"
Me: "No, it sounded awesome! I've been meaning to see it!"

So, with that, we all put our groceries upstairs, then trundled back down to the cars with what seemed like half the ward [a few more people jumped on the moviewagon] and headed to said theater.

However, upon arrival, we were dismayed to discover that our desired movie was sold out. But since the fires of cinematic desire were still alight within our bosoms, we decided to head back to Wyview and watch a movie on our neighbor's gigantic tv a la 1980-something. We were leaning towards Pirates of the Caribbean, but then someone spoke up and said they had the original Manchurian Candidate, and my heart just about stopped.

20 minutes later, we're all crammed into this girl's living room while awaiting the glory of Angela Landsbury's almost Benjamin Buttonlike face to appear on the screen. Personally, I think trading off Seven Pounds for The Manchurian Candidate isn't a bad deal.

5. After that riveting adventure, I was still awake enough to cram in one more movie. This lead to my first viewing of Lars and the Real Girl. What an incredible movie! It definitely starts out as one of those where you're laughing every four seconds because of how implausible the whole thing is, but by the end, you realize that you're a big jerk for ever laughing so heartily at such a pitiable situation. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. It's pretty different from anything else I've ever seen.

F. My chantering is coming along well. I started to learn how to play "Minstrel Boy" a few days ago, and I'm actually get the hang of it played almost up to speed. It's exciting to see the progress you can make in such a short period of time :]

vii. I've been obsessed with the Slumdog Millionaire soundtrack. I downloaded it the other night with the help of some Border's giftcards I had sitting around, and now it's basically all I listen to.

Well, that's about it for now. I know that was kind of newsy, but there it is. Should anything else of intense interest manifest itself in the week, you'll be the first to know.

Until then...